33-year-old boyfriend stays in close contact with his ex, goes to "cat-sit" in her house for 3 weeks straight, and gaslights his current girlfriend into thinking that she is in the wrong for feeling uncomfortable: 'It felt like there was no room for me'

Cats are innocent. We humans have our dramas and our problems, but our cats… our cats should not be a part of them. And they should definitely not be used as an excuse or a cover for our bad behavior. Which is what happened in this story. We understand missing your ex's cat. We do. We form bonds with our partner's cats all the time. It happens quickly, sometimes instantaneously. That's why we don't support adopting cats together until you are 100% committed to one another, because if things don't work out, you have to start having custody battles, and the ones who suffer the most are the cats.

All that said… once you are in a new relationship, you cannot obsessively go back to your ex because you "love her cats". You cannot go cat-sitting for your ex for three weeks straight, living in her house, while completely ignoring your current girlfriend's discomfort. And no, you cannot use the cats as the excuse to go seeing your ex over and over, and that is clearly what is happening here.

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This… is just sad. Truly. We feel bad for this woman. This man has gaslit her to the point that she feels the need to go to the internet to get confirmation of what she clearly feels in her gut. He is not over her. She is not over him. And you deserve so, so much better.
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We hope that seeing all of these comments will help this woman make the right decision for herself. We hope that it gives her the strength. The less time you spend in this toxic relationship, the easier it will be for you to get over it.
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